Saturday, September 18, 2010

DEATH BY CURTAINS

So, I mentioned before that we had bought sheers for each of the huge windows in our house. I was really impressed with Ikea’s curtain setup. For less than $20, each pair of sheers came in at eight feet long, with some “stitch witch”/seam tape they can be customized to fit most windows. All one has to do is hang the drapes, determine the point at which the hem should be. Then take them down, iron in the hem – and then re-iron it with the seam tape and cut off the excess. Easy, right?? Sure it is….if you’re NOT me!

Now, my grandmother and mother are fantastic seamstresses. My sister and I had matching dresses for every Christmas when I was a kid. We were able to request Halloween costumes that weren’t in the stores and we were never the sad looking angel in the church pageants. Despite the domestic talents that I did assimilate from these women in my family (cooking, baking, setting a nice table, cleaning the house properly, even knitting and some crafting, etc.) that sewing gene is not in my DNA. I’ve always wanted to learn – but always suspected that I wouldn’t do very well at it.

When we got married, I figured that eventually I would stop working to raise a family (…I didn’t really plan on the “Quit Work and Move to Europe to be a Trophy Wife” path…) I figured I’d conquer sewing when that milestone provided me with the opportunity and motivation to do so. When we arrived here, I thought that perhaps, I would make a pair of decorative curtains for the guest room. Something with a little color to set over the white Ikea sheers and liven up the room a bit. How hard can curtains be? They’re a long rectangle with an open edge at the top for the rod to slide through.  All you need to do is to finish the sides and hems.  Right?

I measured, ironed, pinned and re-hung the curtains to check the new hemline. ….they were crooked. Hubbalicious was called in for consultation. He pointed out that the fabric might not have been cut straight to begin with or we (he) may not have hung the curtain rod straight (although he doubts it!). He suggested I eyeball the hem and then check that it was straight by folding it in half longwise and making sure the entire piece was symmetrical. I think he forgot what a whacked out perfectionist I can be.....but he got a little reminder..... At the end of the day today – I had hemmed only TWO pair of curtains. They were hung and checked, and re-hung and re-checked ad naseum at least 5 times (with 10 foot ceilings, this means a ladder...and a grumpy husband. So - the take home lesson for the day is this: Not only am I a perfectionist – but we now know that I am a perfectionist that is abysmally bad at pinning or ironing in a straight line. If that’s not a recipe for insanity, I don’t know what is!

Given that I can’t seem to iron a straight hem – I’ll be starting an eBay search for guest room curtains here instead!!

Now, there are another two pair of Ikea sheers in our bedroom window. Their extra fabric pools a bit where they touch the floor. Hubbz asked me last night when I was going to hem them. I told him I kinda liked them long. He laughed and asked “How many times are you going to say that before your hatred of them being imperfect overpowers your hatred of having to hem them?” I smiled, acknowledging that he had seen right through me. “About 12 more times” I replied.

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